Bedroom Door

1. You name your dog (cat, whatever) Bill because it has similar markings to Bill the Pony...

2. You are given advice you don't like, you respond: It would sound like wisdom, but for the warning in my heart...

3. You purchase Rogaine (or something of that sort) to use on your feet...

4. Some one calls you short you tell them that even the smallest person can change the course of the world...

5. You get a meeting with the principal to discuss the possible meals such as elevenses, afternoon tea, etc...

6. You ask your geography teacher why you have learned nothing of middle earth...

8. You become jumpy at the slightest hissing or sniffing noises... (Never know where those wraiths will strike next, eh?)

9. A sign on your door (front or otherwise) says, 'Speak friend, and enter.'...

11. A sign on your (front or otherwise) says, 'You shall not pass!'

13. You become suspicious of your gym teacher when he/she will not allow you to wear 'The Ring' on it's chain during gym class...

14. You try 'The Ring, it's getting heavier.' as an excuse not to run in gym class...

15. You get caught talking in class and tell the teacher that it was The Ring...

16. You are no longer allowed in the town park because you kept dropping from the trees exclaiming, 'You breathed so loud, I could've shot you in the dark.'

18. You attempt to inhabit the smaller trees of Middle America...

19. You are having an identity crisis because the personality quizzes are telling you that you are both Gandalf AND Pippin (or two such polar opposites...)

20. You are working on what you call 'Lembas2003' because the first 2002 didn't work out...

21. You are legally having your named changed to something from the book...

22. You are saving up for plastic surgery to have pointed ears...

23. You listen to the LotR soundtracks and can name every scene for the music...

25. You attemp to create your own bow and arrows with a dal rod, rubber bands, and pencils... (I bet Macgyver could do it.)

26. You have a website dedicated entirely to LotR...(Doh't, caught myself there...)

27. You have trained yourself to do the elfy-sleepy-thing...

28. You and a friend are doing an IM fic including yourselves with the fellowship...

29. You plan on naming your children with names from the books... (Hopefully you pick ones that people can pronounce.)

30. You scour the internet searching for clips of the actors on anything else...

31. You have watched movies such as Black Hawk Down and Goldeneye because you heard that Bloom and Bean were in them...

32. If someone disses the books or movies you scream: Sacrelige! I shall feed thee to the Balrog! or something along such lines.

33. You and a friend constantly talk about what you would do had you been part of the fellowship... (Feed the chicken the ring, dernit!)

36. You scare people at school by calling the ring your preciousssss...

37. In school you refuse to write on paper saying it's a tree and start talking about global warming and how the forests of Middle-Earth are disapearing...

39. You were sent to detention for constantly refering to your teachers as 'Foul denizons of evil, Wraiths, Black Riders, etc'... (*whistles and looks away innocently*)

40. You have memorized the movie, the specials, the extras, the commentary, the books, the movies...

41. You got detention for making one of the lunch ladies cry because you kept saying 'We ain't had nothin but maggoty bread for three stinkin' days!'...

42. You constantly practice running in the woods so you can be a silent trekker...

43. You search the woods for the perfect staff shaped piece of wood and procede to sand it, and polish it, and protect it... (*holds stick behind her* Stick? What stick?)

44. You are reading the book for the umpteenth time this week...

45. Your entire family has the movie and soundtrack memorized because you have watched it so many times... (Hey! It's not my fault, they watch it WITH me.)

46. You claim to carry an invisible sword, bow and arrows, axe, staff, or dagger. Or all. ~Spider~

47. ...you get so desperate that you throw the invisible ones aside and attempt to build your own... *hides sandpaper behind back*

48. You often wonder when you'll get to use said weapons against orcs... ~Spider~

49. You constantly 'walk' on your knees, claiming to be a hobbit... ~Spider~

50. You stick your finger in a socket to see if you get the Sauron effect. (You know, where he blows up?) ~Spider~

51. You see a REALLY old person, you try to draw Saruman from them... ~Spider~

53. You hold memorials for certain dead characters... (RIP Bory!) ~Spider~

54. You see your favorite character on the screen, you scream "TAKE IT OFF!!!!!" hoping by some miracle their shirt will be taken off and their manly chest revealed. ~Spider~ (Then again, maybe that's just you, Spider...)

55. You don't see anything LotR related for a couple hours, you die. ~Spider~

56. You become terribly offended if someone pronounces Aragorn's name wrong, or doesn't know ALL of his names... ~Spider~ (Well, crap, don't kill me...I only know like...five of them? Or is it three?)

57. You have spent more than 5 minutes watching the seconds tick off on a countdown banner which is marking the time until the release of ROTK. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~

58. You bring your homemade lembas to school for lunch daily. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~

59. You didn't get a drink or anything to eat at the theater--no matter how hungry you were--just so you wouldn't have to go to the bathroom during the movie. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~ (My Father could learn a thing or two from this one. I told him not to get the jumbo drink, but did he listen? Noooo...Sheesh!)

60. The theater staff actually begins betting on how many times you're going to come see FOTR/TTT. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~ (But I only got to see them both like four times in the theater! *sniff*)

61. You think of Elrond's butterfly hairclip whenever you go shopping in the hair-accessories section of Wal-Mart. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~

62. You know the difference between Sindarin and Quenya. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~

63. You refer to your friends who aren't LOTR freaks as "the others". ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~

64. You have a crush on a character. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~ (*whistling and looking far away*)

65. ...and are constantly justifying it by listing good character traits... (*whistling and looking far far awaaaaaaaay*)

66. You start taking archery lessons but stubbornly refuse to use a compound bow or crossbow. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~ (Okay...I would do that anyway. It has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with LotR...I think...)

67. You can sing all the Elvish lyrics on the soundtracks--and know what they mean. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~

68. Your friend asks you why they killed off "that blonde guy in the Fellowship" (meaning Legolas, of course) in TTT, you get offended and won't speak to him for a week. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~

69. Over half of the disk space on your computer is taken up by LOTR-related stuff. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~ (Why are you looking at me like that? I keep all my stuff on ZIPdrive! I swear!)

70. You start to braid your hair, elf-fashion. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~

71. You ask your mum if she'd mind just giving you money for your birthday/Christmas/some other holiday, because you'd like to pick your own presents off LOTR websites. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~ (...fun fun fun, my precious...)

72. You kidnap your sister's Barbie horse and name it Bill the Pony. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~ (Sad thing is, before I discovered LotR, I had a fuzzy toy pony with almost identical markings to Bill, but it, er, passed on long before I could read more than Dr. Seuss. *sniff* Such a tragedy.)

73. Asked what your school is like, you reply, "There is evil there that does not sleep..." ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~ (In my case, I am homeschooled, and also in my case, that evil is my brother...doooooooooom...)

74. You try to slide down the stairs on a cookie sheet...possibly shooting arrows at your mum's vases. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~

75. You start saving up to buy a replica of one of the LOTR swords. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~ (I have a friend doing this.)

76. ...you plan on sharpening the sword and using it, once you get it... ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~ (But he's getting the Shards of Narsil, I believe, so it would be silly to sharpen it...unless you plan running around with only the hilt and a foot and a half of blade.)

77. You commonly use the phrase "Since the First Age" in place of "for a really long time". ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~

78. You think that your vice principal is the Mouth of Sauron. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~ (And yet in all of my school experiences, it is the Vice Principal who is the more evil of the leaders...hmmm...)

79. You mutter the "One Ring" rhyme (in the Black Speech) to yourself whenever you get mad. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~ (Sounds more satisfying than counting to ten!)

80. Someone says that LOTR is "okay", you wonder if they're sick or just insane. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~

81. You're still amazed at people who don't know who "Frodo" is. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~ (At this point in time, that is worse than not knowing who Mary Poppins is.)

82. Someone asks you if anything's bothering you, you reply, "A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind..." ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~ (Sweet! I'll have to try this one!)

83. When you and a friend (Or two, or three, or eight...) are caught doing something secret (Secret clubs, practical joke, etc.), you shout: Crebain from Dunland! Hide! and procede to do so...

84. Someone asks a simple question about LOTR and then die of old age before you finish your answer...

85. You know what Figwit stands for. ~Nueme~ (Souns like a strange fruit to me. *winkwink*)

86. You know the official rules of tig. ~Nueme~ (Tig on a tag on a tog on a what?)

87. You go on rants over characters that were left out of the movie (RIP Tom Bombadil, Glodberry, Radgast the Brown and Glorfindel) ~Nueme~ (Taken part in many, fought on both sides, but alway go back to the book...)

88. You have fought over how to spell Kazad-dum (me and a friend against our equally obsessed teacher) ~Nueme~ (Heck, I never even tried. I'm calm like that.)

89. You love to bag groceries to refer to yourself as Master Baggins (*looks away*....what?) ~Nueme~ (Hmmm...intriguing.)

90. You seriously contemplated taking the month long course on Tolkien's life works over a course for your major... (*whistles and looks away* Wait, what am I talking about, I took an Anglo-Saxon Literature course!)

92. You want to take a course with a certain Prof at your school because he is a Tolkien fanatic... (I get to! He is so cool!)

93. You listen intently to your friend who made it into the Tolkien course to hear really neat stuff... (The things you learn...)

94. You're reading Beowulf for whatever reason and begin to realize the similarities between the Anglo-Saxon Age culture and the people of Rohan... (It's freaky weird until you realize that Tolkien did a translation of Beowulf.)

95. You begin recognizing certain lines from Beowulf that are in LotR... (Kinda strange but neato.)

96. You know the date of the release of Tolkien's translation of Beowulf and constantly profess to all who will listen (and many who won't) that you'll be first in line... (This is that Prof I mentioned.)

97. When praying in front of class (Christian College kids.) you periodically substitute Iluvatar for God... (Yeah, that freaks me out a bit too.)

98. You teach a course strictly on this material... (He's cool...but still a tad off.)

99. You will only buy certain versions of the books (such as Houghton-Mifflin) because of where the money goes... (This Prof does this because the cash goes to the Tolkien family or a Tolkien foundation or something...)

100. You break your 'cut back on the books' packing rule because you suddenly have the urge to go through the series and subsequent follow-ups... (Dernitall, I was doing so well too.)

Some episodes of his comic Real Life, from Greg Dean. If you don't know it, shame. Go read it.

Unfortunately these are like the ONLY stinkin LotR comics he did. Yet, that's okay. He did plenty of other funny ones. TRUST me...

-If you can attest to some of these attributes...well, first of all, God help you, and second of all...you deserve this:

Or even this, if you're specifically obsessed with a member of the fellowship, try one of these!

Cut and paste to your own thing, please, and link back to me...for some courtesy...