Beware the Chipmunk | home
A page devoted to theories about the story. Duh. The italics following are what others said about said theories. If the italics are GREEN, it is a positive response. If they are RED, they are negative. If they are yellow, I'm not too sure what they are. In the BLUE italics following the first bit of RED/GREEN/YELLOW italics is my retort for the response for the original theory.
(WARNING: Obscure and obtuse logic used here. Those with who regularly use actual logic might want to bash their skulls on something very hard before reading, or their heads will hurt more from attempting to comprehend the bull...)
Small Animals: Why not just feed the ring to a chicken? Or, better yet, a demon chipmunk? No one could put on the ring, and even if it came out before Mount Doom was reached, who would want to touch it? All you have to do is toss the creature into the lava and boom! No more ring. That is why a D.C. would be good, you would rid the world of two evils. Then again...a chicken would make a good celebratory meal, no?
--IN RESPONSE: That would not be possible because the animal could easily choke on the Ring and even if it did swallow it it would probably cause Frodo more harm carrying it then getting stabbed by a Morgul Blade! (It would bite him..) ~Katharine, Elven Warrior Princess~
--IN RETORT: You have a decent point Miss, but who said the small creature had to be living. And if the creature was living, who says it has to have teeth? Besides, it might not bite him at all (Unless, of course, you DID use the demon chipmunk...).
The Box: If the small animal bit was turned down by some lunatic, why not encase the ring in a solid block of Mithril? No one could wear it, and who would know it was in there other than the fellowship. Then Frodo wouldn't have to go alone, and all that would be lost would be a bit of Mithril (and maybe a life or two if no one's too careful).
A Friggin Eagle: And if no one liked either of those ideas, why not give it to an eagle to take it to Mount Doom, drop it in the fire, and fly away?
--IN RESPONSE: I must say that I almost fell for this one..but no...Gwahir (Lord of eagles) Might choke on the ring, accidentily swallow it, drop it and heaven knows what else on the way to Mount DOOM... ~Katharine, Elven Warrior Princess~
--IN RETORT: Ah, Miss Kathrine, I should have specified and not assumed. I assumed that one would get that the eagle would carry the ring on a chain, like Frodo, or on a bracelet or something. That way, it would not have been a choking hazard.
Blame Elrond: If one thinks long enough, one may realize that this can all be blamed on Elrond. If he had the decency to set aside personal matters to save the whole of Middle Earth, none of this would be happening. So Elrond, while you say, "One of you...must do this." We wonder, "Why not you?"
--IN RESPONSE: - The Nudge - Theory: When Isildur and Elrond were in the middle of Mount Doom, and Elrond saw that Isildur wasn't going to throw in the Ring, why didn't he just give that mortal a little "nudge"? No one else is going to be able to prove you did it...and you could always say that he tripped, or something. There's three thousand years of stress done away with, right there. ~Meluivain Gwiwileth~
--IN RETORT: My point exactly, Mel! Thanks for the support! Thing is, he didn't necissarily have to KILL him...he could have just pulled a Gollum and taken a small piece of flesh.
--IN RESPONSE 2: Uhhh no.If he HAD gone after Isuldir that day then Isuldir would have just killed him and flipped right out. ~Katharine, Elven Warrior Princess~
--IN RETORT 2: Dear, dear Kathrine. I believe you are underestimating the physical toughness of elves! Elves naturally posess more of a prowess when it comes to battle and are much more agile than humans. Tolkien says so himself (If not directly, subtly.) Elrond could have dealt with Isildur easily, if not for his friendship.
Let 'm fight!: (MOVIE ONLY!!!) Okay, here's just a simple idea... LET FRODO FIGHT. There was NO reason for Frodo NOT to fight. At Weathertop, if he had lunged, missed, and then fallen down to run away, the scene would have worked out fine. It might have kept more of the book fans happier as well (Me being one, if not two, allowing for personalities...). The movie might have been better, even. There was absolutely NO stinkin reason to make Frodo such a blasted pansy! ARGH!
--IN RESPONSE: This is not really a theory but I shall answer this anyway...I think that PJ wanted to make Frodo more naive and frightened in the first movie.Where in the second and third movie he will be more brave. ~Katharine, Elven Warrior Princess~
--IN RETORT: You make a good point about this not being a theory. It isn't a theory. What it is I do not know. You also make a good point about the whole naivete thing. By making Frodo a pansy in the first movie, PJ succedes in accentuating the difference in the hobbit's character as the quest piques and ends.
Bind the ring: Bind the One Ring with an Elven Ring (Example: Narya). Yeah, just bind 'em together with some kind of hard substance, mithril or something. Combine the most evil, highly dangerous piece of jewelry on the face of Middle-Earth with a purely good Elvish ring made for the sole purpose of maintaining somewhat decency in the world, and you think they'd, like, cancel each other out, right? I don't think that the One would function very well if it were attatched to a ring made to counter-act it's evil-doings. Face it, they'd just be two rings, completely usless together and physically incapable of accomplishing anything except for maintaining existence. ~Nenya~
--IN RESPONSE: No YOU CAN`T DO THAT! Even Galadriel said that her ring cannot come to the aid of men.Besides even if she would give it up, it can`t just acancel the other one out.The poem says "One ring to rule them ALL." No exeptions. ~Katharine, Elven Warrior Princess~
--IN RETORT: Hoo-ray Kathrine! You have actually disproved a theory! I often wondered about this theory, but was never sure.
Come 'n' go: In the hobbit, Gandalf was able to "come and go as he willed"......so why didnt he just transport frodo and himself (or just himself) to mount doom, cast it into the fire, and be done with it in a matter of minutes. ~Andrea~
--IN RESPONSE: Gandalf thing-I really don`t think that is what Tolkein meant.I thought he meant he could travel where ever he wanted, but not like that. ~Katharine, Elven Warrior Princess~
--IN RETORT: ...I don't really know either way... *shrugs*
--IN RESPONSE: If I'm not mistaken I believe that "come and go as he willed" meant that Gandalf wasn't ruled by anyone, he didn't owe alliegence to any land or king and so he could go where he wanted to without permission and without having to inform anyone as to where he was going. It wasn't that he could transport himself places, if he could do that he wouldn't have had any trouble when he fell into the chasm with the balrog, he wouldn't have needed Gwahir to save him from Orthanc and he most certainly wouldn't have needed Shadowfax. ~Nevermore~
--IN RETORT: Well, okay.
Fireworks...no really, it does.: Okay folks, why doesn't Gandalf just tie the ring to a little rocket and send it strait into Mt. Doom? Hmmm?
To continue: It is my theory that I theorize that you should theorize some theoretical theories of your own to send me!